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  • Sandwich Generation

    Sandwich Generation

    I am part of what is called the “sandwich generation.” Meaning, I help care for my mother who is in home hospice care while I am still raising my own family (husband, four children at home, one child in college). There is no way around it – this is a stressful season of life.

    We brought my mom home after a hospital stay just before Thanksgiving 2022. At that time, she required total assistance with most all tasks. With time (and stellar care from me and my sister, I must say), Mom grew stronger. Although she is still in hospice care, she can now do many activities herself. She still requires some assistance with ambulating and taking medications. We have in-home care a couple hours most days, and my sister and I check in daily and assist at night. The hospice staff is also WONDERFUL. But, to say life is “easier” now would be a misstatement. Life is hard. And complicated. Moms always have 4,332,578 items on our mind and to-do list on a slow day. In addition to keeping up with my full-time work, kids’ school and sports, finances, etc., I have to help ensure Mom is safe, eating, taking her medications….Then there is also the side of paying her bills, getting her long-term care insurance approved, filing her taxes, fielding phone calls… Thankfully, my sister is here and sharing the load. She was slated to graduate with her nurse practitioner degree in May 2023, but she had to take a leave of absence from school to help care for Mom. That makes me sad for her, but I know it was the choice she wanted to make.

    It’s all. Just. Hard.

    “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

    One thing this journey is helping to teach me is the value of simplicity. This is a lesson I am in the process of learning in all aspects of my life right now. There are SO many activities in life that are actually disposable. I still do my best at work, but I do not take on extra. I am getting better at arranging my day to ensure I do not stay late (pro-tip: there is actually a lot of work that we put on ourselves that is unnecessary). My children are still involved in activities, but only if it is something they TRULY want and love to do. This is not the season for me to take on volunteer work. I am focusing hard on relationships with my kids and husband; otherwise, I think this could easily put a rift in our relationships. I am slowly working on getting excess clutter out of my house. A streamlined home and schedule help give me peace in the midst of the busy-ness and responsibilities.

    I am so thankful we have had this extra, “borrowed,” time with Mom. It IS a gift from the Lord. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is HARD. And sometimes it helps just to say that out loud.

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  • What I Prayed For

    Have you ever heard “don’t pray for patience?” Or, “be careful if you’re praying for patience.” Or trust. Or kindness. Or any number of virtues! When we pray for these character traits, God is faithful to give us plenty of tests and opportunities to develop these traits. God hears our prayers, and when we delight ourselves in Him and try to align our life with His will, He is faithful to answer our prayers.

    1 Peter 3:12 – “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their prayer…”

    John 14:14 – “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

    I don’t know about you, but it is easier for me to see these tests and opportunities in my life than it is in the lives of my children. What if some of my children’s trials and life experiences are a result of my specific prayers for their sanctification and for God’s guidance in their lives? Not just general life experiences to teach them virtues and life skill — For example, one of my children has stayed with a job for quite a while, despite no raises and few accolades. But recently she received the raise and accolades she has been wanting because of her hard work. Or, another child learns to pace himself and not overwhelm himself in school by – overwhelming himself in school. 🙂 Or yet another child learns to heed the speed limit after getting a speeding ticket. These are general experiences that I think many people have and will (hopefully) learn and grow from.

    To consider that some of these life experiences, trials, and tests may be a more specific result of my prayers for my kids puts this concept into a whole new light for me. To realize that (of course!) some of these experiences are also a result of what my children are praying for themselves brings me much peace.

    I can plan my course in life. My children can each plan their course. But the Lord establishes [our] steps along the way.

    Proverbs 16:9 – In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

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  • Simplicity

    Simplicity is all the buzz right now. And I’m here for it! 

    Simple living. Minimalism. Decluttering. Scaled-back schedules. I am not saying I think this should look the same for everyone; but I do think these are important concepts in our over-stretched world. 

    Shortly after my last post (nearly a year ago!) my mom did pass away. I am thankful she maintained a good deal of independence up until the last week or so of her life. Since then, life has been a flurry of big decisions, settling the estate, phone calls, paperwork. Oh, the paperwork. In the midst of all that “busy,” my life has actually been quite simple, though. 

    Take care of the kids.
    Occasional date night with hubby.
    Take care of the house. (minimally, cause let’s be real)
    Go to work and again, make sure I leave on time.
    Try to take care of at least 1-2 action items for Mom’s estate each week.

    That’s been about it. 

    Now, we are nearing the end of the estate process, nearly one year later. I feel myself being able to breathe a little bit and eager to add some different things into my days. I thought I could add in a Bible study once a week, but honestly, I cannot even keep up with that at this time. I do what I can and rest in the knowledge that my Lord sees my heart and effort. 

    I am more keenly aware of how “too much” burdens my schedule and sanity. This may change in the future, but for right now, I actually cannot take care of much more than the list above without feeling my peace slip away.

    “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…” I Corinthians 14:33

  • Why “and she treasures?”

    Do you ever feel invisible?

    I certainly do, at times. Oh, I have a wonderful family and a wonderful career. Great friends. I know I’m needed and make an impact in my little corner of the world. But, there are still times when I feel unseen. “Left on delivered” as my teens might say. My requests to complete chores fall on deaf ears. My sadness or frustration fall on oblivious eyes. My fatigue with the daily grind falls on unconcerned hearts.

    I would venture to say that most women can relate.

    And, if you are anything like me, it doesn’t stop there. You notice little things. Actions, a facial expression, the way a word is spoken. I believe women are perceptive. We may share these observations at times, but I believe more often than not we treasure these things away…

    But can I share a little encouragement with you today? There are some little verses that have given me so much hope. Little verses that were like hidden gems when they first stood out to me.

    Jesus had just been born. The shepherds decided to go to Bethlehem to check things out for themselves. Luke 2:16-19: “So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (emphasis mine)

    Later in that same chapter, the Bible records Jesus as a 12 year-old boy going to Jerusalem with his parents for the Festival of the Passover. Unbeknownst to his parents, Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem while his parents headed back home with relatives and friends. His parents started looking for him among the group but realized he wasn’t with them. Luke 2:25-51: “When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions…His mother said to him, ‘Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.’ [Jesus replied] ‘Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’…Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” (emphasis mine)

    What is precious to me is not that Mary observed these things and hid them in her heart. That makes complete sense. What amazes me is that God chose to include this in his Word. Among all the important events that were taking place in that chapter, God chose to include what was going on inside a mother’s heart. Which means He knows, He sees a mother’s heart. And what is in a mother’s heart is obviously very important to Him. Isn’t that amazing?

    I am assured that He knows and sees what is in my heart, too. All the times that I am thinking, wondering, praying, observing…He sees it, too! And because I treasure these things in my heart, God treasures them, also. Today, be confident that even the unspoken parts of your heart are seen and treasured by a God who loves you.

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  • Welcome!

    Welcome to my little corner of the world! I have wanted to start blogging for a while, but the time wasn’t right until now. Why now? No clue. But I am excited to give my random thoughts and musings more space to roam – beyond my brain and my journal.

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