I am part of what is called the “sandwich generation.” Meaning, I help care for my mother who is in home hospice care while I am still raising my own family (husband, four children at home, one child in college). There is no way around it – this is a stressful season of life.
We brought my mom home after a hospital stay just before Thanksgiving 2022. At that time, she required total assistance with most all tasks. With time (and stellar care from me and my sister, I must say), Mom grew stronger. Although she is still in hospice care, she can now do many activities herself. She still requires some assistance with ambulating and taking medications. We have in-home care a couple hours most days, and my sister and I check in daily and assist at night. The hospice staff is also WONDERFUL. But, to say life is “easier” now would be a misstatement. Life is hard. And complicated. Moms always have 4,332,578 items on our mind and to-do list on a slow day. In addition to keeping up with my full-time work, kids’ school and sports, finances, etc., I have to help ensure Mom is safe, eating, taking her medications….Then there is also the side of paying her bills, getting her long-term care insurance approved, filing her taxes, fielding phone calls… Thankfully, my sister is here and sharing the load. She was slated to graduate with her nurse practitioner degree in May 2023, but she had to take a leave of absence from school to help care for Mom. That makes me sad for her, but I know it was the choice she wanted to make.
It’s all. Just. Hard.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
One thing this journey is helping to teach me is the value of simplicity. This is a lesson I am in the process of learning in all aspects of my life right now. There are SO many activities in life that are actually disposable. I still do my best at work, but I do not take on extra. I am getting better at arranging my day to ensure I do not stay late (pro-tip: there is actually a lot of work that we put on ourselves that is unnecessary). My children are still involved in activities, but only if it is something they TRULY want and love to do. This is not the season for me to take on volunteer work. I am focusing hard on relationships with my kids and husband; otherwise, I think this could easily put a rift in our relationships. I am slowly working on getting excess clutter out of my house. A streamlined home and schedule help give me peace in the midst of the busy-ness and responsibilities.
I am so thankful we have had this extra, “borrowed,” time with Mom. It IS a gift from the Lord. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it is HARD. And sometimes it helps just to say that out loud.
and she treasures 